30/01/2011

For the past six weeks, I've change so much.
I quit smoking because of my health and i don't want any of my family members and close friends to worry for me.
I've lost 6 kgs within 5 weeks.
That's kinda impossible, But it did.
Day and night whether is it at home or in camp.
I keep crying on my bed.
I cry so hard because I miss you.
I don't blame you for not replying any of my offline-msg on msn, sms, e-mail.
I know you are angry with me! I know you hate me!
I only blame myself for being a lousy boyfriend. Lousy lover.
I told everybody that it's my mistake for being a lousy boyfriend.
For being a bad-boyfriend.

I realise my bad-points and mistakes that I've made for the past few years.
I'm sorry for neglecting you many times. I just want you to know i really didn't mean to neglect you. I love you! I didn't even bare to neglect you.
I'm so busy in camp till sometime i don't even have the time for my own leisure / relax.
Sometime, i even sleep at 1+ 2+am.
Ofcourse i would love to talk to you on the phone all the time.
But, i just want some alone time to do my leisure stuffs like watch my mp5, listen to music and relax.
I'm sorry for not replying your msg or even call you back.
I know you waited for me till past midnight.
I'm sorry.

For the past 1 week.
You may say I'm being very forceful or irritating.
I want you to know that I've realise my mistakes and I'm a totally different person now.
I know you need time. I'm just scared to lose you.
I'm trying my very best to get you back.
I'm repenting my mistakes that i've made.
I want to spend my entire life with you.
Only you.
I just need you to open up to me.
I want you to be frank with me.
I want to understand you better.
I want to have a Fresh start with you.
A whole new life with you.

I know that alot of things have happen to us over the past 6 weeks.
My family and friends give me their blessings.
They all say we are an item.